10 Ways Toddlers Are Like Zombies

Only 2 4 (we watched 2 more after I wrote this!) episodes in to The Walking Dead and I’ve got zombies on the brain (ha ha) mostly all day. Even my wife has been asking zombie questions which is something I thought she’d never speak of, so I know she’s thinking about them too. As I’ve been pondering the wonder of zombies, I found that they bare a frightening semblance to our little tykes!

I bet you seasoned Walking Dead viewers are laughing at me thinking “You have no idea!”, but as a boy who grew up loving horror films, I’m not stranger to the living dead. That’s probably why it bothers me when I can’t answer Going Mom’s zombie questions, which isn’t often, mind you!

With 5 seasons concluded as of March 29 of this year, and a sixth season in the works, we have a lot of catching up to do, but I’m looking forward to spending the time watching something with my wife. Kelley has a lot to learn about the undead, and I figure she’ll quickly agree that these 10 zombie tendencies are all apparent in our practically 17 month old daughter, Avery.

  1. One is usually manageable, but they are powerful in numbers. Even alone, Avery is a handful at times, but usually not too overwhelming. Add a handful of kids in a group setting and chaos is sure to ensue. No matter the other parents around to deal with their own kids, they somehow manage to get to us adults most of the time.

    What can we destroy next?
    What can we destroy next?
  2. All they do is grunt or make undecipherable word-like sounds to communicate. It’s a constant guessing game trying to figure out what Avery wants most of the time. We ask if she wants milk, we get a blank stare or a whine/short grunt. “Are you hungry?” Eeeeemph! Ummm, okay, is that a yes? Geez, at least zombies go right for what they want! Also, the word “No” means nothing. Tell a toddler “No” and they do exactly what you told them not to do, and they’ll stare right at you while doing it. I’ve never been in a situation where I need to tell a zombie “No”, but something tells me they too will defy your demand, as they eat your face.
  3. They stink. It’s not fair to say our kids smell all the time like zombies do, but when they fill that diaper, you could swear something dead is close by. Luckily, a quick spray of her cloth diaper and fresh one put on its place, and Avery doesn’t smell so bad…..until poop #2 or #5 or more happens.
  4. They’re biters. Poor Going Mom knows this more than I do because of breastfeeding, but Avery has bit my fingers many times while feeding her. I hear this happens a lot with toddlers, and same goes for zombies!DSC_4914
  5. They drool….a lot. Usually because of teething (which might be the reason for #4), toddlers drool like a dog in a Milk-Bone factory. Although probably not from teething, zombies are constant droolers because they never seem to have their mouth fully shut.
  6. They suck at sharing. If you are holding something, could be anything, toddlers usually want it and will get upset if you don’t let them have it. In the same fashion, if one zombie is the brains from something they just caught, a whole hoard of zombies will come acting like it’s all for them. No manners, either one of them!
  7. The are messy eaters. Do I even need to explain this one? Guts and brains are instantly messy, and toddlers have the inept ability to turn even the cleanest of foods into a messy new paint design on your floor or walls.DSC_1406
  8. They NEVER sleep. What we call nap time is actually just Avery jumping around her crib and throwing everything around her out. Nighttime is the same, everything gets tossed out of her crib as she proceeds to talk to herself, or maybe the zombies that also aren’t going to sleep.

  9. They can’t sit still. No matter what they’re doing, our tots seem to constantly move. Sit down to watch a movie, even the best one for kids, and you might have them calm for 10 minutes, tops. At least this is our experience with Avery, and don’t get me started about when she’s in her highchair! I haven’t tried getting a zombie in a highchair or watching a movie with them, but they are always on the move, shuffling around the streets in search of flesh.
  10. They are clumsy and uncoordinated. Even with all of the moving practice they get, kids are always falling and never seem to walk straight. You’ll see this trait in any zombie movie/show, they are lumbering forward in a diagonal direction and fall over things easily.DSC_4543

There you have it, it’s freaky how similar our toddlers are to the living dead. Actually, maybe we need to check just to make sure we’re not housing a little zombie! Be careful out there!

What zombie traits do your little ones possess?

Anything you’d like to add to the list?

A Healthy Cayenne Dill Dip & The Next “Breaking Bad”

Whether sweet or savory, I love having a good dip around. In the savory department, I make an easy and healthy cayenne dill dip that always satisfies my cravings.

Cayenne Dill Dip on Arugula

Store bought dips and spreads are typically loaded with ingredients you need a dictionary (or Google) to figure out what they are, and they definitely are NOT found in the common kitchen. If more people would just read the ingredients list on things they buy, maybe it would act as a deterrent. Or maybe not, but who wants eat something full of chemicals made in a science lab?

Speaking of labs, I think Going Mom and I found our new “Breaking Bad”; “The Walking Dead”. We’ve heard all good things about it and one of my co-workers (when I worked) let me borrow the first season twice but we never watched a minute.

Ever since finishing the awesomeness that is Breaking Bad last year, we haven’t found a good replacement. We found and quickly went through the first and only season of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in just 2 weeks, and just watched the first season of The Walking Dead this weekend. Us = hooked.

But that poor horse at the end of the first episode! He was promised a safer place in Atlanta only to be eaten by zombies. That’s beyond a broken promise!

Just like our Breaking Bad experience, watching shows is difficult with a kid. Last year we had to hold Avery and dance around the living room or rock her in her swing as we subjected her to the show. At nighttime, the volume was so low you couldn’t chew snacks without missing what someone said.

Had to make sure Breaking Bad was paused for the pic!
Had to make sure Breaking Bad was paused for the pic!

Now that Avery is older, we only have nighttime to watch something, and with her resistance to sleep and Kelley falling asleep when nursing her most of the time, things are still difficult.

We are not TV-watching people; we pay $5/month for the basic of basic plans, and hardly, if ever, turn the TV on during the week. Since my wife is the worker bee in the family, I respect her need to sleep, so no Walking Dead marathons are in our future, but we’re gunning for at least one episode per night.

Hope this works out, cliff-hangers drive us crazy!

Anyway, I might talk more about what we see as we encounter Rick fighting his way through zombie land, but for now, how about a spicy recipe?

Hey, nothing like watching quality TV with a good dip and something to dip with, right? Use any raw veggie or even homemade beer bread to dip or spread this on and you’re set.

Healthy Cayenne Dill Dip

by RC Liley

Prep Time: 5 Minutes

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese
  • 1/2 cup Plain, Non-fat Greek yogurt
  • 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
  • 1 ½ T dill
  • 1/2 T cumin
  • 1/2 tsp cayenne
  • 1/2 tsp paprika
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • 1 tsp garlic powder (not the salt!)
  • Pinch of sea salt
  • Ground black pepper to taste

Instructions

Combine all ingredients in a bowl (I used the half empty cottage cheese container so I could just keep everything inside for no cleanup) and mix well. Let flavors marry in the fridge for at least 2 hours. After sitting overnight the flavors only get better.

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If you’re wondering, we did exactly nothing for Easter. We usually go to see family like last year, but just kept it low key by staying home and listening to Avery talk to herself instead of take a nap.

Do you enjoy a good dip?

Would you rather have something sweet like this peanut butter pumpkin dip or savory like the above?

How was your Easter?

 

What’s in the Grass?: #MySundayPhoto – 04.05.15

As always, I have my favorite photo subject to share with you for #MySundayPhoto. We’ve already been having borderline hot weather in Texas (nothing new), so finding shade to play is a must.

There’s a small, grassy area in our neighborhood with plenty of shade from tree cover and Avery enjoys exploring the new territory. I wish I could take credit for this excellent shot of our daughter, but my wife, Going Mom, let her skill shine for this one.

DSC_0293

Not a clue what she was finding there, but guess we never really know what our kids find most of the time. As long as she doesn’t eat it, it’s okay. Right? Right?

Since it’s hard to just share one, here’s a pic I snapped on my phone. The quality is not as great, obviously, but that smile turns it into a priceless work of art.

Avery Smiling in Grass

How is the spring-time weather coming along where you live?

Do you have any low quality pics of your smiling kid(s) that you are simply in love with?


OneDad3Girls