Bathroom Puns and No More Bottles!

Nothing like a few Friday bathroom puns to pass the time until you officially start the weekend, right?  Obviously, I could do more than just bathroom puns, but then I’d never get crap done. Ba-Zinga!!!

Wow, we’re off to a great start already! I’ll be sure to keep things moving to avoid a clogged brain. Butt first, I want to share what makes me so happy to say “goodbye”. We are done with bottles!

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As you can see, Avery was a little hesitant about putting them up, but I told her she has new sippy cups to use since she’s older. She asked to use a bottle just one more time, or maybe she was flipping me the bird…..

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Whatever she was saying or telling me, the bottles are gone now and I’m happy to put them behind me. Her last use of the bottle is documented on yesterdays Milk Life #MilkDrive campaign post. Which, by the way, would be totally cool of you to help our Southern team of dads out and donate for the great cause. I mean, I am giving you bathroom puns here. 🙂

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Yeah, please help families in need. Oh, and tell me where the bottles are hidden.

It seems like she should’ve been done with bottles already, but I think this is quite normal, especially for breastfed babies. Which, by the way, my awesome wife is still nursing like the rock star that she is! Now, about those diapers……

Ahhh, diapers, perfect segueway to bathroom puns; enjoy!

  • All of the toilets were stolen in the police station. Detectives have nothing to go on.
  • A man was having issues peeing and asked his doctor what it meant. “Urine trouble.” the doctor said.
  • Constipation is a pain in the ass.
  • My whole family has problems with diarrhea, it runs in our jeans.
  • Urinals are pretty tough, they take no crap!
  • You can never hear a pterodactyl urinate because its P is silent.
  • A house without a toilet? Seems uncanny.
  • Everyone had fun at the park, but after dropping my watch in the toilet, I had a crappy time.
  • The toilet was backed up from feeling crappy, but when I said it had beautiful porcelain skin , it was flushed.
  • Life as toilet paper has it’s ups and downs. You’re either on a roll or taking crap from some asshole.

True, some of these are corny, but I think a lot of us will agree that the cornier the better. Right? Anyone?

Well, I hope you don’t feel like this was a waste of your time. Enjoy your day and have a great weekend!

When did you get rid of the bottles for your kid or are you still using bottles?

Do you think it’s easier with or without the nippled containers?

8 thoughts on “Bathroom Puns and No More Bottles!”

  1. I gave a rather “unique” donation, where in the hell do you come up with all these puns? Off the top of your head or the internet? No more bottles! #Winning Word to the wise stay on top of the sippy cups all kinds of weird funk shows up in the discharge after awhile.

    1. Thank you, Gary, appreciate you x 100! The puns are a product of not having anyone else to talk to for most of the day and my constantly wondering mind. The internet does serve as inspiration for some though. Thanks for the tip….scrubbing bottles now.

  2. Oh dad jokes are the best! Particularly when they involve toilet human … don’t worry you’ll still be telling them when your little one is 26! (Trust me!)

    Aww congrats on the no more bottles stage … sippy cups were the best when I worked at nursery/playgroup … it was the lid free days that were the worst, the kids tended to forget and shook lid free sippy cups up and down giving us all a good drenching in milk! At least with the lids it was like a little indoor drizzle that you were safe in the knowledge wouldn’t turn to heavy rain!

    1. Thanks, Vicky-Lou! I plan on spitting out dad jokes until I’m on my death bed, just can’t get enough of them! I’m scared of anything without a lid now, so I think lids will be on her cups for a lonnnngggg time!

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