Did I say how to discipline a toddler? I’m sorry, I meant how do you discipline a toddler. Oops!
When they don’t talk (not sure if that’s a good or bad thing), communicating what to do and not do is difficult. Not having the experience of a talking kid yet, I can’t speak to how hard that is. I’m guessing it’s worse since they probably talk back, huh?
Anyway, the biggest issue is with not listening when we say “No” or “Don’t do that.” What? Familiar words in your home too?
Especially when it comes to changing her diaper or throwing food, Avery will not listen! But then she gives you this face….
…..and how do stay upset? I’ll answer this rhetorical question for you, you don’t!
And then the icing on the cake is when they give you a leg hug…
We’re fighting an uphill battle here…..
So tell me, how do you discipline or at least begin to discipline your toddler?
Welcome to the limit-testing toddler phase!
It *is* indeed the beginning of a battle. Even if she doesn’t talk yet, I’m willing to bet that Avery understands a lot.
A few things that have worked for us so far:
1. Telling our son what to do instead of telling him not to do (ex: your food goes in your mouth, not on the floor);
2. Completely ignoring the behavior;
3. Clearly stating consequences and following through (ex: if you throw your food on the floor one more time, I’m taking your food away).
Good luck!
Thank you for the tips, and for welcoming me to the “fun” phase of limit-testing! Yay…..
I already practice some of the advice you and Jessica gave, but it’s always great to have others confirm how they approach this ever-growing battle to be alpha parent! I’m sure I’ll have many future posts with out battles won and battles lost. 🙂
Setting clear Boundaries is SO important at the toddler age. You may laugh the first time she feeds her banana to the dog, but trust me, a year later, when she is STILL feeding her food to the dog, you won’t be laughing. My daughter is 4 and at this point I am past the toddler testing faze. Honestly, you child at about age 1 understands cause and effect. If I do A then B will happen. So if you say “If you throw your food off the high chair, I will take your food.” They get it. Now the first time they will test you, and that’s where the parenting comes in. Do not give consequences that you are not fully ready to enforce. Take the food away, meal over. If they cry. DO NOT BACK DOWN. The memory of the consequence will stick, but if you back down, what the child remembers is not the lesson, but instead that the boundary changes if they cry, or throw a fit. Which means next time, they will try again to see what happens. This is true about everything. The limits you set, must be clear, and enforced consistently. You must not change the punishment. Because that sends unclear messages to the toddler about whats ok and whats not, if sometimes you let her get away with and sometimes you don’t. The other problem I see a lot of parents do, is not give an instant consequence. Young children do not have the attention span to relate delayed punishment. So reasonable, instant, and constant. Another example is “Do not pull the blu-rays off the shelves OR you will have to go to your room.” Do not repeat yourself, As soon as she touches the blu-rays, you remove her from the situation, and put her in her room. and make clear why she is going. “I’m sorry, but I told you that if you pulled those blu-rays off the shelf, then you has to take a 3 minute time out in your room.” She might scream, cry, throw a fit. Do not discuss it, do not reason, enforce your punishment. That is the key to longterm success. If you just keep saying it, but never actually make the child go to their room or sit in time out, or whatever you deemed was going to happen, then the child knows your boundary isn’t consistent. You’re all talk. Even young toddlers are very intelligent beings. They understand what your saying before they can ‘talk back’
Trust me on this, if you are reasonable, and consistent in not allowing boundary pushing early. By the time she’s 4 like my daughter, she will listen 95%-100% of the time.
Wow, thank you, Jessica, for the detailed advice! I have already made it clear about my dislike of her throwing food down, and she gets it. Sometimes she’ll still throw a piece down, but then I give her “the look” and she immediately picks up a veggie and puts it in her mouth. There are other areas I need to work on and will heed yours and the advice from Mommytrainingwheels in hopes of establishing clear boundaries/consequences when broken.
Thanks again!! 🙂
I agree with boundaries. It has to be clear to the twins what i don’t want them to do before they can get in trouble for doing it. Once they know that an action or behavior is off limits, then after a warning (You know you aren’t supposed to touch that!), then penalty can commence. I agree though, they eyes and hug get you every time…lol
I’ve been hard at work trying to avoid the “NO” and “Don’t do that” overuse, and it’s freakin’ hard! Especially because, yes, she runs up and hugs me every time. 14 months old and already figuring things out…..uh oh! Thanks for commenting, Kevin (a.k.a Spike!) 🙂