10 Things Babywearing Dads Shouldn’t Say to a Teething Baby in the Bathroom

Since my first post about 10 Things Baby Wearing Dads Should Never Say in a Public Restroom, I guess I haven’t learned my lesson. Although I don’t say the 10 things I listed then, I still catch myself talking to Avery in the public bathroom and saying things that might raise an eyebrow or two.

It’s been close to 4 months since that post, which means a lot has changed with our baby. One of the changes being her teeth coming in. As of now, she has her top and bottom two front teeth working their way out, and she lets us know about them multiple times a day. Any parent, I’m sure, knows……it’s “fun”. Please, since my sarcasm.

How do you not say something to those teeth?
How do you not say something to those teeth?

Her teething has been going on for a few weeks now, and we are still going to the store where I still have to urinate frequently due to my massive caffeine consumption. No matter how much I tell myself to just keep quite while wearing my daughter at the urinal, I can’t stand the silence, so I break it by making some sort of statement to the sweet girl hanging in front of me.

Wouldn’t you know, the moment I open my mouth and say something, I regret having said it right then and there. Obviously, others are sharing the public restroom, so why do I do this so much?

I can’t think of a good reason, but it happens, and once again I’ve collected 10 of the things I have actually said and want to share with other babywearing dads now. Ladies, I’m not trying to omit you, but I’m only speaking from my own experience, and I also have trouble visualizing how a women can use the restroom and wear her baby, so please forgive me.

  1. I can see it poking through.
  2. You look so different now.
  3. I know it hurts now, but you’ll feel better once it pushes through.
  4. Here, chew on this.
  5. Wow, that’s a lot of drool!
  6. I cold cloth would be really useful right now.
  7. It could take 2 years before you’re finished.
  8. Remember, it’s not nice to use those on mommy.
  9. I wish they’d all come at once so we could get this over with.
  10. Oh, I need to take a picture of that one!

Yeah, maybe I should print these out and laminate them on a card to study from now on. But, I probably won’t do that, because as our daughter continues to change, so will the things I say to her in and out of the bathroom.

I love my toof!
I love my toof!

Sometimes I wish I made this stuff up. That would save my face from turning red with embarrassment after saying one of the above and having someone quickly walk out of a stall and then the bathroom without washing their hands. Oh well, it happens (right?), and I’m able to look back and laugh now.

Avery still has plenty of teeth to come in, so who knows what I’ll say next?

Can you think of things you’ve said to your teething baby that wouldn’t sound right to another person in the restroom? Has this happened to you before?

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