Tag Archives: stay-at-home parent

One Thing I Miss About My Old Job after 6 Months of Being a Stay-At-Home Dad

07/30/2014 R.C. Liley 5 Comments

It doesn’t seem like half a year has already passed since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad, but here I am, stay-at-home daddying (it’s a word) with our precious 8 1/2 month old daughter. I have to keep repeating “precious” to myself as she’s in teething mode and wants to make sure everyone knows.

No I'm not! — I don’t want these things in my gums!!

Her screams get progressively louder as if in competition with herself and she refuses to be outdone. How long do they say this takes? Around two years? Damn.

But, I remember saying goodbye to my office job and hello to my new office a.k.a. home and how much better I felt. Needless to say, I’ll gladly to listen to screams over getting on another conference call to discuss the “how’s” and “who’s” of whatever was going on at the time.

Walking out the doors for the last time.

I’ll stop there since I could easily get myself “worked” (ha ha ha) up and blab on about my despise of having a desk job. We aren’t made to sit so long and be so sedentary as we……oh, crap….see, I’m still doing it!

Anyway, life as a stay-at-home dad started off slow with a baby who could only eat, poop, pee, cry, and sometimes smile. Luckily, babies experience rapid growth and Avery is surprising us with new skills/abilities almost every week!

Now at almost 9 months old, she’s a very mobile crawler showing signs that walking isn’t too far away.

I know everyone says that’s when I start to go crazy because I’ll always have to watch her, but I’m still excited. Before I know it, we’ll be able to wrestle, play outside, and go on (short) hikes.

Going Mom has to remind not to get ahead of myself and try things too soon. What? Is it that bad when I get on the ground and push our baby in an attempt to wrestle now?

Oh….okay then, I’ll ease up.

I know I have a more meaningful role now than I did when employed, and am ever so grateful we are able to make this work for our small family.

I’m extremely grateful for my lovely wife who goes in to work each day and handles various situations way better than I ever did/could. Then, when the workday is done, she comes home and helps deal with whatever is going on with Avery. Thank, Kelley, you are appreciated more than words can describe!

Visiting a local brewery for my 30th. Avery slept most of the time.

Speaking of, although I’m happier and more proud as a stay-at-home dad than my old job, I do miss one thing; my wife. Yep, we worked for the same company, in the same building, and even in the same office.

I was the only person in the building with a desk converted to standing and I could look over and see her desk not far away. We would talk to each other through the company’s internal messaging service and visit each other’s desks frequently.

Very rarely would we miss a day of going on a walk together around the nearby trails before having our lunch. There were times when we would give each other notes or share a laugh at an inside joke no one else understood.

My wife is my best friend, and now I don’t get to see her as much as when we worked together. I miss her, I miss our walks, and I miss being able to walk over to her for no better reason than to just say “hi.”

The good thing is that our relationship has grown even stronger since I’ve become a stay-at-home dad. Gone are the days of me stressing over work and letting it drag me down at home; now the time I do see her means more and we both recognize it. Sure we still have are disagreements like any couple, but they’re (usually) over fast and we get on with life.

So, in the end, it’s a worthy trade-off we are both happy with and it seems to be working for our family of three. I still go on a daily walk, but with Avery, and again with both of my girls if time is permitting.

Yes, I’m still adjusting to the stay-at-home life, but after 6 months, I feel good about our decision and am ready to continue down this path of daily obstacles and adventure.

Do you or would you ever consider working in the same office as your spouse?

Have you been both an employee and a stay-at-home parent? Which one are you now and what do you prefer?

Goals, Parenting

Goal Check-in as a SAHD and Seven More

05/31/2014 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

It was only 4 months ago when left the work world and officially became a stay-at-home dad! It feels like longer but also like time has flown by, if that makes any sense.

So far, our new life is much better than before, and I’m enjoying it more each day. Avery didn’t do much the first few months, but she’s beginning to be quite lively and responsive. I have no clue what her coos and pterodactyl-like screeches mean, but they keep me company way more than her silent newborn days!

The day I started this life, I posted seven goals as a new stay-at-home dad and today I’m going to see how I’ve done so far and list seven more goals.

My previous 7 goals:

Figure out a good routine. This was a major concern for me as a new parent and SAHD, but it ended up going pretty well. I was able to enjoy Avery taking a 3 hour morning nap most days and then another one in the early afternoon. Her eating from the bottle was hit or miss (yo-yo dieting), but I’ve been consistently taking her on walks each day and enjoying quality time with her.
Keep a (somewhat) clean house. I don’t do as thorough of a job as Going Mom, but I vacuum daily and the house is never a pure mess….yet.
Cook good food. I’ve been able to make a few dishes for Kelley that aren’t just thrown together and she usually approves. Sometimes I’ll add too much or too little of something, but she’s always grateful and gives me “constructive” feedback. I enjoy being able to have a healthy meal for Kelley to bring to work as well as breakfast and dinner, and so far so good.
Post to the blog at least twice a week. I’ve been really good at posting daily so far, so I’m happy to go above and beyond this goal!
Take a lot of pictures and video. Ha, “a lot” is one way to describe it, but more like “take up half of my hard drive” is a better description. How do you NOT take pictures of your beautiful baby? Goal met x infinity!
Find time to work out during the day. I worried about this one, a lot, but with her 3 hour naps I could easily fit in a workout for the first several weeks. Then, she started taking longer to get tired, so now I take her with me to workout. Sometimes it’s inside with a video (my last preference), outside in the garage for lifting, or running in the B.O.B. All in all, she usually does great and seems to enjoy watching her daddy jump around and look goofy. Phew!
Make our own snacks. Doing good here. I made several batches of goat cheese crackers for Kelley, including a special Mother’s Day batch, and have been making plenty of different variations of my protein granola.

So far so good with those 7 goals, and will keep working on them as I continue my at-home dad life. I have no regrets on making the decision to stay at home and raise our beautiful daughter and I am just a happier person overall. Even better is that since I’m happier, Going Mom is happier and we have a healthier life as a result. Happiness rules!

As time goes by, things change, my goals included, so I have 7 new ones to share and strive to attain…

1. Teach Avery about healthy eating and how it is enjoyable. Now that she’s starting to eat solids with our baby-led weaning approach, I am standing strong on only offering vegetables for now. As she becomes more comfortable with carrots and broccoli, we’ll offer fruits like banana and mango. For now, the next step might be a less sweet fruit like avocado; this will be a fun one to clean up after!

2. Have better time management. I’ve been getting seriously into blogging and find that I have the “need” to create daily posts. I know the world won’t end if I skip a day or two, but it’s how my mind works. My priority should be and always is my family, I just need to remind myself of this sometimes. I enjoy writing posts and sharing stories/thoughts, but I just have to get better at when I do this.

She did great for my first time instructing our neighbors on a workout

If blogging wasn’t enough, I’m now starting to have a group meet in my neighborhood where I will instruct workout sessions. I’m not certified and don’t charge for it, but this is something I want to do when Avery gets older. I love our neighborhood and enjoy helping those who care, so hopefully I can manage this as well.

3. Stress Less!! This one obviously ties into time management, but it’s something I do way too often. When I was working, my stress affected me so bad it took a toll on my health and was one of the reasons we struggled to have a baby. Needless to say, stress is a dangerous thing that affects brain, body, and those around you.

This picture means more than words can describe and my stress made us wait too long!

I feel it creep up on my when I’m trying to take on too much like write a post, prepare meals, clean bottles from the day, workout, and clean house all at once. You’d think as someone who stays at home this is easy, but I find a way to make it difficult. Either way, I need to reign in on the stress and kick it to the curb!

4. Say “I love you” at least once a day. To Avery, to my wife, and to family, these three words are more powerful than you can imagine. I hope I am doing good on this one already, but I’m making it a goal to ensure I don’t let up. This is something I think everyone should heed; go say “I love you.” to your family and watch the smile on their faces.

5. Keep “going” with my blog. I couldn’t help myself, sorry. Yes, my blog has become a part of me and as a proud dad, I want to let the world know. I’ve been fortunate to connect with many other dad bloggers and I’m even taking part of a couple of campaigns for Father’s Day (coming soon).

I want to upgrade to a self-hosted blog soon, but need to make sure I have the financial means to do so. I love the community I am a part of and thank everyone reading for doing so!

6. Make healthy cupcakes. Sounds weird, but this task has been assigned to me by my wife. I need to create a recipe to make delicious and healthy cupcakes by the time Avery’s first birthday rolls around.

Nope, won't make these again.... — Nope, won’t make these again….

I refuse to offer cake made from refined white flour and am on a mission to impress! Cupcakes are a lot easier to manage and then Avery won’t have to smash a whole cake. Any thoughts/recipes you care to share?

7. Have a positive influence on my daughter. The importance of the father-daughter relationship is tremendously important, and I am adamant about being the best dad to Avery. By showing how a real man treats women with respect and always offering positive words, I will help set Avery to have great self-esteem and confidence. I hope it also helps in her choice of boys when that time comes. But lets not get too far ahead…

Playtime with dad is more important than you'd think!! — Playtime with dad is more important than you’d think!!

There we go, I have my work cut out for me, but that’s okay since I enjoy a good challenge. Right now, I think the hardest one will be perfecting a healthy cupcake recipe. What some think as healthy, may not be the same view I have as I can get pretty picky. Actually, I feel bad about using any flour because it’s obviously somewhat processed to get to that form. But, I will overcome this hurdle and find something!

Avery puts a smile on my face every day and I can’t say enough how much I am loving our way of life now! I love my wife and our daughter, and I hope to continue to put my best into this blog and most importantly, being the best dad and husband I can be!

How do you think I’m doing so far?

Do you set goals for yourself?

Any good cupcake recipes you care to share?

New Life, Parenting

Is Stay-at-Home Parenting a Job?

04/08/2014 R.C. Liley 3 Comments

You’re one person against one or more tiny people all dependent on you. While your significant other earns the family income by heading to work every day, you are feeding, changing, cleaning house (or trying), cooking, playing, shopping, washing dishes, and somehow, finding time to eat for yourself. Yep, you’re a stay-at-home parent, but is it a job?

I’m not claiming to be an expert with only 2 months under the elastic waistband in my shorts, but I feel confident in saying that stay-at-home parenting is NOT a job. Physically and mentally exhausting? You bet your messed up, cow licked hair it is, but it’s still no job.

Now before you go getting red-faced with anger, hear me out. Saying that being a stay-at-home parent is a job, is basically saying you really don’t want to be a parent. Yeah you have your good and bad days just like you would in the office, and your co-worker(s) can be unruly and hard to talk to at times, but you’re watching your offspring learn and grow.

Because of YOU, your children don’t have to be dropped off where they don’t see either parent for hours every day. I have no ill intent to those of you that do this, and I know we are fortunate to be able to make it work. As a stay-at-home parent, you will also be there to see all of the “firsts” and hopefully capture them on video to replay over and over.

Not only that, but you’re saving your family an expensive childcare bill. Even if you could afford it, wouldn’t you rather be the one helping to shape and develop how your little ones learn? I’m pretty sure the caretakers, with multiple kids to watch over, will never be able to give the same attention as you.

Plus, I would expect less trips to the doctor’s office since you are avoiding your kid coming in contact with other sick kids at the care facility. Yes, it will happen eventually, but hopefully not as often.

Going Mom, my dear wife, is the one with a job in our family. Words can’t express how much I appreciate her for all that she does for us. She has to head to work and leave us in the morning for most days of the week and then come home to be a mother. And a fine mother she is! Literally, I think she’s pretty hot! 🙂

Two cuties that are too cute. See what I did there? ; 0

For me, I despised going to work and sitting in an office. I’m a mover, constantly wanting to do something, and plugging away at a keyboard wasn’t doing it. Now, I am definitely moving and always have something to tend to. Both of these are stressing, but work stress actually hurt my health.

As a stay-at-home dad, I have greatly reduced my stress level and the symptoms I had before have gone. Now I am able to prepare meals for Kelley, care for our child, exercise, and at least try to keep the house in somewhat good shape. Before, I tried to juggle all of this on top of work and it drove me insane!

Kelley mentioned how she notices a difference in my attitude now that I’m at home, and I fully agree. With Avery in our lives, and me staying at home with her, we are all happier and healthier as a result.

So, is staying at home to raise your children a job? Nope, that’s would mean you’re an employee of sorts. I am proud to be a stay-at-home dad and love my form of payment in love from my wonder wife and beautiful baby. Plus, her smiles are like daily bonuses!