Tag Archives: puns

Life

Stuck With Staph And I Need A Laugh

05/22/2015 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

Remember my staph butt issue from last week? Yeah, it’s getting better, butt (ha ha, never gets old!) it still hurts and has another 2 weeks of healing to go.

Or at least that’s how long I have to take antibiotics. What sucks, though, is that even after I’m done with the antibiotics, I still technically have staph. I guess it’s not all that uncommon, but I’m a registered carrier of the infectious bacteria. And, as confirmed by the doctor I saw last Tuesday, it’s Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA).

Not a big surprise as I’ve had it before when on vacation in Colorado back in 2011. I tried my damnedest to make the most of the trip and went out with Kelley to be as active as possible, but what I thought was just a painful nose pimple blew up into a massive MRSA infection that brought us to the local ER. Apparently if I waited longer it could’ve got into my brain and blah blah….it was bad.

Basically, I will always have the nasty and stubborn-to-treat version of staph inside me. I guess my nose is where it’s usually hanging out, so I better watch my ass and lay off the picking!

Speaking of ass, I can almost sit comfortably again, but still find myself shifting every 5 minutes. Luckily, I stand all day, I even use the island as my computer work area, so it’s only an issue at night. I’m thinking I won’t be doing any half-marathons on my indoor rower any time soon.

Hopefully this doesn’t mean Avery is a potential carrier, but we’ll keep on the lookout just to be safe.

If you read through this far, I’m sure you know more about the staph in my nose and butt than you’d ever care to, so how about a few puns to lighten things up? I could use a good laugh myself.

If you’ve been a reader for a while or just know me, you know I’m a fan of puns. Corny or not, I love’em, so here’s a few to enjoy or loathe as you see fit.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. He gets a lot of dirty looks and says,”Calm down, I’m not looking to start anything.”
I recently got a job at the office for national statistics, but I’m only there to make up the numbers.
I met a guy who lost all of his toes and he instantly annoyed me. Guess I’m lack-toes intolerant.
Did you hear about the kidnapping?!?!?! …. He was really tired.
Everyone tells me I’m a skeptic, but I don’t believe a word they say.
My wife said she’s leaving me because of my poker addiction. I think she’s bluffing.
I thought I could trust my acupuncturist, but then he stabbed me in the back.

Enjoy your Friday! I promise my next post will be better with a big focus on Avery.

Are you a carrier of staph?

Do you know if being a carrier means your kids are too?

How did you like the puns?

Life, Parenting

How About Five Puns For A Top Daddy Vote?

05/08/2015 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

Friday’s are awesome, and Friday’s with puns are ~~awesomer~~ full of even more awesomeness! So I have a deal for you, I’ll give you 5 puns and only ask for one thing in return; a vote on the Top Daddy Blogs website.

I’ll make it easy for you, just click the button below and BAM!, your vote is in and I sincerely thank you!

This button is also on my sidebar and at the end of every post, so if you are so inclined, I’d love it if you clicked it once a day or whenever you visit. Maybe I’ll have more puns lined up for the future in return. Deal? Please?

Now, we have to go off the honor system here, so I’m assuming that you have clicked the badge above or will soon if you scroll down for the puns. And, under this assumption, I deeply thank you and express my Top Daddy gratitude.

Although they are now my Top Daddy enemies, these dad bloggers are also asking for votes. Since I’m such a nice guy, here’s a link to their accounts on the website.

Mike Smith – Sunshine Dad

Gary Mathews – Skipah’s Realm

Kevin (aka Spike) Zelenka – Double Trouble Daddy

There are many other great dad bloggers on there, but these are the guys I communicate with most and they’re all cool enough to earn my vote!

1. When egoists meet for the first time, it’s always an “I” for an “I”.

2. How do you define a will? Hint: It’s a dead giveaway.

3. The little old woman who lived in a shoe needed money, so she sold her sole with no strings attached.

4. I have a photographic memory, it just never developed.

5. Poisoning America’s national bird would be ill-eagle.

Hey, I never said they’d be out of this world knee-slapping hilarious, but hopefully you got a chuckle out at least one of them! Don’t worry, as a pun-loving dad, there will be plenty more to come on this blog.

I’m not expecting to do a lot of blogging this weekend as I have 13.1 miles to prep for on Sunday, Mother’s Day, and then it’s spending time with my lovely Mother and wife…..Avery too!

Have a great Friday!

How did you like the puns?

Did you click the badge to vote for me? If so, THANKS!

Any plans for Mother’s Day?

Life, Pinterest Picks

Five Fun Puns & A Visual Reason for Good Health

04/10/2015 R.C. Liley 4 Comments

Since yesterday’s post was purely my serious side, I thought I’d lighten things up with a few puns for Friday. If you’ve been following my blog and/or social media pages, you’ve probably caught on that I love puns. Corny or not, told by me or someone else, they make me smile and that’s what matters.

Bonus points when the ones I tell make others smile. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, but I never let it stop me or get me down. I only hope Avery enjoys by corny jokes as she gets older. She’ll eventually reach the age where it’s embarrassing, which means I’ll probably just increase my joke telling. That’s what dads do, right?

Before I share my five fun puns for today, here’s a picture that encompasses my intense determination and motivation to hold nutrition, and therefore health, to the highest standards in our home.

Probably no surprise, huh? Of course there’s my mom (G-Ma) and all family from both sides, but these two girls are the ones I feed daily and make sure I feed them right! Plus, with their smiles, I couldn’t imagine having anything but the best for all of us when it comes to nutrition and our health in general.

To accept sub-par food to go into our bodies would be failing the ones near and dear to me. And how could I ever let this little girl down?

Okay, I’m getting caught up again, sorry. But can you blame me? I don’t think so!

Now here are my five fun puns compliments of Pinterest. Have a great Friday and weekend!

Love that last one! Okay, love them all, that’s why they’re on here!

Here’s another pun-tastic post I published several months ago if you’d like to keep the laughing (or ugghhh-ing) going – Going Dad’ Top 10 Pinterest Picks: That’s Punny

Do you have a picture that gives you motivation to stay healthy and feed your family nutritious food?

Are you a pun-loving person like me or do you despise them?