Tag Archives: life

How to Piss Off Your Baby

Our Sunday was off to a great start, Avery slept the longest ever in her crib and then slept a little longer with us. We even slept in an extra hour!

She woke up pretty happy and flashing us smiles, so we were hopeful for a good day ahead. Wrong.

First off, I proceeded to try and feed her a bottle. This is a no-no when mom is home because, being the smart baby she is, knows there’s a much better source of food hanging around. Pun intended, sorry Kelley.

Being one who doesn’t take no easily, I was a little too persistent in trying to feed her the bottle until she just got upset. After trying to hold her in several positions to see if that would help, Kelley finally just gave her the good stuff. We only try to use the bottles since that’s the main food source when Kelley is not here, and we have so many bottles in the fridge that can’t go to waste. We’re backlogged with breast milk!

Once enough time passed, we put Avery down for her morning nap which she didn’t resist too much. She had a couple crying sessions within two hours that Kelley was able to go and soothe her back to sleep. Overall, she had maybe one and half hours of sleep; the most she’d get this day.

After making breakfast for Kelley and myself, we decided to get our shopping out of the way. So, we packed the diaper bag, put Avery in her car seat and we were off.

Instant fussiness and crying followed as we began our trip, but that didn’t stop us from going to Starbucks first. I got a black coffee and Kelley had the same, but decaf. Back on the road with Avery still protesting, our first stop was Babies “R” Us to return some items and look at bouncers. Avery had calmed down, so I just carried her in the car seat.

The whole time inside, she didn’t fuss at all, but once she was back in the car, the crying ensued. Next stop, Costco. But first, another Starbucks run. I have a member card which allows for free refills, so I always go back at least 3 times to help get my money’s worth of the other black gold.

I wore Avery in the Baby Bjorn as usual in Costco, and she was pretty good while inside here too. Maybe a little whine, but then she just chewed on the carrier and stared at the big warehouse lights. She finally fell asleep……as we were going to check out. So, ten minutes later, she was rudely awakened by dad putting her back in the car once more. But, in dad’s defense, it didn’t help that Kelley tried to strap her in the wrong way which made it uncomfortable until we fixed it. Sorry, Avery.

Almost done, we only had one more grocery trip to Sprouts! But, can you guess? Another stop at Starbucks on the way! Poor Kelley sat in the back trying to feed Avery a bottle, but she was not having it. Again, she’s thinking “Why would mom feed me a bottle?” So, she just cried. All the while, several hours had passed and no substantial nap has occurred.

Inside Sprouts with Avery in the Baby Bjorn, she pretty much just cried and kicked her legs as much as possible. I felt pretty cool perusing each aisle as if nothing was wrong while a baby was screaming in my face. Staring, although very, very annoying, was understandable.

Thirty minutes later, Avery still crying, we packed ourselves in the Outback (big Subaru fans here!) and eagerly headed home. Kelley sat in the back and tried once more to offer Avery the bottle. Maybe she was just finally hungry enough, or too tired to fight it, or maybe the sun shining in her eyes didn’t allow her to know who was feeding her, but she took the bottle. Then she fell asleep with it in her mouth on minutes later.

Milk-covered face and asleep in car seat.
Milk-covered face and asleep in car seat.

This is the down side of living close to most places, the drives are not that long. Yeah, of course we LOVED this before becoming parents, and still love it overall, but when you have a sleeping baby, you want the ride to last a while. Once home, I carried Avery still in the car seat and set her in her nursery hoping to make the nap last. Nope, five minutes later and the eyes were open.

Again, I insisted on feeding her the bottle, which she refused, multiple times. And again, we finally caved and Kelley offered what I can never give. I’m okay with this, by the way; that would be weird.

We decided to go for a little family run together after this. Kelley has been wanting to get back into running, and I wanted to come along while pushing Avery in the B.O.B. stroller. I also wore a 20lb vest since I have a problem of going too much ahead of Kelley. At first, there was no crying, but it wasn’t long and Avery was back at it letting the neighborhood know her lungs are pretty well developed.

I am fairly sure that going faster helps Avery settle down, so I eventually just went ahead and let Kelley enjoy a quiet run. Avery fell asleep within minutes after picking up the pace, so I passed our house and told Kelley to meet me down the road while I went down and back up a hill just torture myself.

We walked together enjoying the peace of a sleeping baby (finally) for maybe 30 minutes before she woke up again. I tried running a little more but she just cried. Then, back at home, I tried giving her a bottle again. When will I learn? Never, I’m just too stubborn.

As you’d expect she fussed and cried until mom gave in and made her peace offering via boob. The rest of the night went on with mostly fussing, but she did give us a lot of “talking” and smiles too. Between taking out the trash, making dinner for Kelley and myself, and bathing Avery, she was whining the majority of the time. Finally, after her bath (and crying), Kelley held her and got her to sleep for the night.

Phew! If you’re still reading, thank you! Basically, just don’t provide your baby any time for a good nap during the day and you’re sure to have one pissed off baby. Add repeated attempts at bottle feeding when mommy is around, and you should watch your back when baby can walk/crawl!

Sure, it wasn’t the most pleasant Sunday, but it was still our little family being together, so that was the silver lining. Plus, Kelley is off work tomorrow so we get another day together! This time, we are not going anywhere and will make sure Avery gets some good naps in. Maybe we’ll take a few with her…

Ever have “one of those days” with your baby?
Any good tips on how to make several store trips and keep baby happy or is it a futile attempt?

Business Casual No More

After tomorrow, the 28th of January, I am going to happily put my dress pants, shoes, sweaters, and shirts away! I’m pretty sure hair gel or mousse or what-have-you will be very rare in my hair (see what I did there?).

Putting on dress shoes feels like attaching anvils to my feet. What if I had to make a quick getaway from a bear or mountain lion?! #screwed Okay, that’s a rare instance, but I like having shoes that allow me to run, jump, and play a whole lot better than the faux leather slip-ons I have. Same goes for the shirts/sweaters and pants; nothing fun about those cotton prison work clothes.

Nope, business casual no more for me, I’ll be dressing in one of my few pairs of athletic pants, a comfortable but not too loose shirt, and either my Vibram Five-Fingers or New Balance Minimus Trail shoes. Now I’ll show those bears and mountain lions!!!! How fast I can run away from them, that is.

Perfect for swaying side to side with a baby….

My body’s nerve factory is in full production right now, but I am excited for this journey to start and am comforted knowing I have a wonderful partner, Kelley, to be by my side. Where this new road in our lives will take us, no one knows, but that’s what makes it so exciting.

A working man's attire...
A working man’s attire…

Avery, if you ever read this, I hope you’re happy with the path we’ve taken.

Okay, time to wind down and prepare for my last day as an accountant.  One door will be shut, but many more will open.