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Avery stepped into month 7 of her life the same day I celebrated my first Father’s Day, so we had two reasons to celebrate. Okay, three if you count not having a giant tortoise to care for in our back yard!

Before G-Ma, Paul, and our friend, Margaret came over to ~~wish me a happy Father’s Day~~ see Avery, Going Mom and I took advantage of Avery’s current good mood to take her monthly progression photos next to her stuffed bear. We asked her if she was ready as we sat in the living room and she gave us her typical constipated raspberry response.

We took that as a “yes.”

In the nursery, Kelley sat Avery in the chair and went to grab the stuffed animal bear. It was obvious Avery was just as excited as we were about her 7 month photo shoot.

Maybe the bear would help excite her?

Meh; a little better, but even blowing raspberries would’ve been better than this poker face. But then she opened up and seemed interested in her soft, friendly bear.

At least, we thought she was just interested, but apparently she had some aggression issues with her stuffed bear. What ensued for the remainder of the photo session was basically a bear mauling. Maybe Avery was giving a tutorial on how to fight a stuffed bear should the need arise. I mean, hey, you never know!

As you can see from the picture above, you must first act like you just want to pet the unsuspecting bear. Then, when you have good leverage, slam his face down in your knee and smile while doing so.

Then grab your bear prey from behind while he’s stunned….

….and throw him in a corner while staying as close as you can to prevent him from taking any swipes. Maybe bite his face a little.

From there, drive your shoulder into his neck region to let him know you’ve only just begun to show him who’s boss!

Don’t stop, keep really driving your body into his and don’t let up by any means! This is a bear, after all, and they can’t be trusted.

Having shown his jugular a thing or two, push him down from behind and bite his head! Trust me, you’ll “bear-ly” taste a thing.

At this point, you’re probably a little tired, so give yourself a break by just laying right on top of the big lug.

Keep laying there if you need to; bear fights are exhausting.

Once you’ve established yourself as master of all bears, prop the poor sap back up in a corner and go let everyone know your big feat!

Oh yeah, oops, learn how to crawl or walk before trying to get off the chair though. Thanks, mom, for catching me!

Have mommy or daddy help you down from the chair instead of trying to crawl right off of it and get to the nearest phone to tell everyone you know. Just so happens, Avery had her chance to use the phone when we changed her into swim clothes to go outside and try her new giant turtle pool.

After you’ve made the calls…..eat the phone.

And that sums up our 7 month photo session and tutorial on how to fight a bear. Here’s Avery at her 1 month session; she’s a little more lively now!

Wow, I will never get over seeing how much she’s already grown!

Do you have a certain prop you use to help mark your child’s growth each month/year? Or did you?

Hello my baby buddies! Avery here, and I want to let you in on my most recent discovery about parents.

You know that really annoying time when your parents lay you on your stomach and give words of encouragement? I used to lay there screaming at the top of my lungs while they just sat there with expectant smiles on their faces and taking pictures.

What they were expecting, I had no clue………….. until now!

So, get this, they put you on your stomach to….stick with me here…..have you roll on your back! Yeah, seriously! Ummm, hello, mom and dad, if you want me on my back, just put me on my back! It doesn’t take a diaper scientist to figure that one out!

Since parents like to be so difficult, I say we make them work for it before finally giving in and rolling on your back. You see, my parents have been putting me on my stomach calling it “Tummy Time” since I was 2 weeks old. Like I don’t have enough on my mind just trying to figure out why I’m not in a nice, warm sauna anymore! If you want to keep them at your mercy, you have to play your blocks right.

For the first few occurrences, give them nothing. Nope, just go limp and look as if you were staring into deep space.

After a while, to give them a shimmer of hope, lift your head and turn it some, but make sure you cry a lot! Also, don’t lift your head too long, they’ll just make you lay there longer and take a lot of pictures.

As you get older, you’ll have to throw your parents a rattle and do a little something more. For me, I suggest kinda rocking on your side while lifting your butt and moving your legs as if you can’t get traction. Do this for a while making sure you are still bawling like a baby. Never mind the fact that you ARE a baby…..

At this point, you’re probably several months old (4 for me), and have been laid on your tummy over a dozen times. I started hitting mommy and daddy at this point, just acting as if I didn’t know what my arms were doing. Try it, you’ll feel better. But, now’s the time to give them what they want since they do feed you after all!

Like you were doing previously, you need to start turning on to one side, doesn’t matter which, and hang there for a few seconds.

It’s just fun to do for dramatic effect and to watch your silly parents’ faces beaming in anticipation.

To really make them suffer, try going back on your stomach as if it just isn’t happing…

Then, once you’re ready, using the arm and leg you aren’t laying on, push yourself enough to roll over on your back!

Give a little look of surprise as if you didn’t know what just happened. This will help to keep you from blowing your ignorant baby cover.

That’s it, this whole time they’ve been putting you on your stomach all just to get you on your back. I don’t know….

If you need it, here’s a quick how-to video on rolling over. Note the fake crying to make them think you don’t know anything.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQfCaurLCmE?rel=0]
Chances are, your parents are going to put you right back on your stomach just to watch you do this about 5 or 6 more times. Then, just be prepared for the same thing every day after that until the excitement wears off.

Sure, parents can be annoying and oblivious, but they do love us, so try and give them what they want like pooping, eating, and rolling on your back. Trust me, it’s worth it to see the look on their faces!