There is a saying that goes, a woman becomes a mother when she finds out she’s pregnant, a man becomes a father when the baby is born. While this may go some way to explain why some men find it difficult to accept their new role during their partner’s pregnancy, and then suddenly come to life when the baby has arrived, it’s not entirely true for everyone.
Also, no one really knows why that is, but it is thought to have its roots in human behavior and evolution.
Supposedly when we were still cavemen, competition for reproduction was rife and so females would copulate with many of the males and it was only at the birth of the child where similarities in features could be found that men knew who was the father of the offspring.
As unreliable as this system might have been, it’s all they had at the time, and as such females were largely left alone or under the care of other females until the birth of the child.
Thankfully, men have abandoned (most) of their neanderthal ways since then and the modern dad to have endless support and resources at his disposal to be the best partner possible before the baby arrives. For some advice on how to do that after the baby arrives, click here.
From the moment you find out about your partner’s pregnancy, be the dad you want to be. This means that after the initial freakout (and you have a little bit of leeway here – but you need to snap back quick!), you need to put her at the center of everything, because from here on out – she is.
Some dads make the mistake of becoming a little overbearing, so take the time to ask your partner what she needs from you. This is one of the few areas that men have left to really step up to the mark, and rely on all of our hardwiring and biological instincts. Remember, that’s half of you in there. You can find loads of good thoughts, here.
KNOW WHAT YOU’RE IN FOR
Your partner is going to undergo some massive changes emotionally and physically, some of these changes are going to impress and amuse you endlessly (her new heightened sense of smell for one), while others are going to challenge your last nerve (mood swings, pregnancy brain, and the ability to fart for the “A” team – do not comment on this – EVER).
The only thing for you to do during this time is to remain patient, calm, and supportive. That’s why you have your friends and your dad. They’ll get it.
COMMUNICATION
Maintaining an easy and open flow of communication during this time is super important, especially if you’re both going to be first-time parents. This includes communication with her healthcare team and understanding any unique healthcare requirements that your partner might have that you’ll need to be a part of. Does she need a pregnancy chiropractor, or is she anemic? Does she experience issues with anxiety or depression and how can you help alleviate some of her discomforts if this is the case?
When people think of mental health, they only do so in terms of adults only. Most people are unaware that children too are dealing with mental health issues. In fact, surveys are showing that there’s an increased rate of anxiety and depression among children between the ages of 3 and 17 years old.
So, if you thought you and your partner were the only ones dealing with mental health related problems, think again. Whatever the case, you need to make sure that all members of your family enjoy excellent mental health. The tips in this post, should help you do just that.
Avoid or Minimize Worry
Worry is a major thief of your peace of your peace of mind. If you continue to dwell on the things that aren’t right with the world, you’ll find that it’s an endless slippery slope. Instead, be selective about the kinds of information you consume and digest.
Start by identifying the cause of your worries. For instance, the news is a major source of anxiety and mental stress. If it’s the news is the source of your anxiety, go on a 2-week “news detox” and see how you feel. If you find that you’re less worried or anxious, keep at it. Also practice habits that will minimize your worries and keep you calm.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
If your kids are feeling anxious and having panic attack episodes, you need to talk to them about their worries. This is very important because teenagers in particular, tend to think of anxiety as a major mental health issue. And because they are scared of the negative association, they tend to further worsen their state of mind.
The first thing you ought to do is normalize the feeling of anxiety and discuss it in the home. In fact, you should inform them that anxiety is perfectly normal. It’s just the body’s way of alerting us to possible dangers so that we can take adequate protective measures.
Do What You Love and Enjoy
Whether it’s cooking good food, telling anti jokes, watching your favorite TV shows, just hanging with the dudes, playing with the kids, or engaging in activities that they’ll like, just find something that gives you joy and do it.
The pandemic has proven that life is too short to not live fully. So, identify the joyful activities that can improve the mental health of the entire family and participate in it. For example, you can all play games at home, have an outdoor movie night, and a bunch of other activities.
Finally, do everything you can to have a measure of control in your life. Sometimes, anxiety, depression, panic attacks and other mental health issues stem from not being in charge of aspects of your life. Sometimes, simply making an effort to do something is enough to dispel some of those anxieties. Take charge of your life and it will have a ripple effect on the family’s state of mental wellness.
Creating long-lasting habits in children should start at a young age. Kids are quite curious and their little brains soak up information like a sponge. Once a child gets to have an experience, it usually leads to help them latch on to new ideas and gain new perspectives. As a parent, it’s important to teach your children lifelong lessons that will last a lifetime. This includes friendship, sharing, morals, and compassion as well. Compassion comes in many forms from being, animals, right down to nature itself on Mother Earth.
It’s essential to teach your children at a young age about the importance of the environment as they’ll be the ones to inherit it. All it really takes are some gentle pushes and nudges here and there to get your children to pick up habits. Starting small and gradually doing bigger actions is going to be the best way to get your child to become active on sustainability. These are some helpful tips to get you and your children starting today on saving the environment.
In order to get your child to feel a connection to nature and grasp the understanding of our impact, getting your child outside more often will help them build an appreciation towards it. Appreciating the outdoors will eventually lead to respect for the earth. There are plenty of outdoor activities you and your child can do together such as going to the park, playing games, or even doing some gardening.
Making changes at home
There are a variety of ways you can get your kid involved in the eco-friendly changes at home. Gardening is one of the best ways to get you and your child outside. This allows them to learn about nature, biodiversity, and patience. This can also teach your child about the hard work, time, and labor that goes into growing food such as fruits and vegetables. There’s something invigorating about getting to pick your own harvest and have the chance to eat it. Getting them to experience this form of satisfaction will give them an understanding of how great it is to garden.
There are other changes that can be done at homes such as installing solar panels from one of the best solar companies, switching to Star or other low energy appliances, plus low flow toilets and showers are excellent as well. Letting your children know that you are making changes within the household will give them a gentle nudge that they should also be involved in helping the environment.
Watch movies with them
Kids are very impressionable, plus their active imaginations may need some visual assistance to help them grasp an understanding of what’s happening to the world. There are plenty of TV shows and movies that are geared towards children that do help in pushing the fact that the environment needs saving. The classic 1980s TV show Captain Planet is a good example, but a more modern take would be Pixar’s Wall-E as this movie portrays the harmful effects of consumerism.
If you’re wanting to know how to reduce your eco-footprint at home then it can first begin by looking at what goes into the trash. This is something that the whole family can get behind. Most neighborhoods have a recycling collection that separates paper, plastic, metal, and everything else from each other. This gives your children an understanding of what material is what but it also helps them in understanding producing waste. Give your child a talk and landfills and why everyone needs to make more of an effort to produce less trash. Talk to them about what can have a second life and why recycling is so important.
Composting and rain collection
If you and your little ones are doing some gardening outside, then there’s a chance that you’re composting as well. Composting sounds a little complex and scary to come families but it’s fortunately quite easy to do. Composting is wonderful for the environment and it gives your children the chance to understand what can and what can’t be composted.
Composting is also something that many people don’t quite understand the benefits of, but it’s great for your gardens and the environment. It doesn’t need to be costly either, which is one of the best perks. Compost bins are quite affordable and can be found at your home improvement store.
Rainwater collection can also be very handy for your garden and it can save you money. Rainwater collectors can come in a variety of sizes from 100 liters up to 300 liters. However, you should look in advance whether or not you can collect water. Some cities, counties, and even states have a complete ban on it. So it’s best to look into this beforehand so you won’t risk breaking any laws.
Avoid buying anything brand new
One of the best ways to get your children to understand money management and the environment is through talking with them about the harmful effects of consumerism. Children are very impressionable, things are being advertised to their left and right. It makes children want things without understanding why they want them, plus it creates this expectation to keep up with constantly changing trends.
It’s so important to talk to your child as early as you can about the harmful effects of consumerism. Let them know it’s okay to want things but it can be harmful if they’re wanting things that they’re not going to use or need. Buying things that are brand new isn’t always necessary, and there are plenty of thrift shops that have affordable items. Getting into the mentality that second-hand items are just as good and that you’re helping save the environment is going to really help in the long run. This helps your family fight consumerism and stay sustainable.
Donating items
Just like it’s best to purchase second-hand items, it’s best to try and give a second life to old items. If you and your family have clothes that are no longer being worn, or your kids have toys they no longer play with, then look into getting them donated. You can donate your items to thrift shops, clothing drives, churches, homeless shelters, and plenty of other places.
This is going to help families have access to clothes and other things that they may have not been able to afford or have access to. Just make sure everything that you and your family are donating is gently used. As in, no stains, broken parts, tears, rips, or anything else in these donated goods.
Think about eco-friendly alternatives before tossing things out
Donating items is a great way to give a second life to something, but what about something that probably can’t be donated? Children tend to throw away things without putting much thought into them. Help get you and your child to think outside of the box. Ask if something can be given a second life before it gets thrown out. Can this item be recycled? Can this item be repurposed? Can it be reused? Can it be sold or donated to someone? These are some things that your family should get into the habit of thinking about before just throwing things into the garbage can.
Make goals
There’s always something new each month that your family can do. Look into making some goals with your children and see what can be obtained. Maybe make a goal about how much can be plated, or how much can be recycled. The possibilities for making goals can be endless. It’s all about making these habits enjoyable for your children so they can stay with them for the rest of their lives.
An at-home dad on a mission to keep it real when it comes to food, fun, and raising a healthy, happy family.
