Tag Archives: bear fight

7 Month Photo Session and How to Fight a Bear

Avery stepped into month 7 of her life the same day I celebrated my first Father’s Day, so we had two reasons to celebrate. Okay, three if you count not having a giant tortoise to care for in our back yard!

Before G-Ma, Paul, and our friend, Margaret came over to wish me a happy Father’s Day see Avery, Going Mom and I took advantage of Avery’s current good mood to take her monthly progression photos next to her stuffed bear. We asked her if she was ready as we sat in the living room and she gave us her typical constipated raspberry response.

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We took that as a “yes.”

In the nursery, Kelley sat Avery in the chair and went to grab the stuffed animal bear. It was obvious Avery was just as excited as we were about her 7 month photo shoot.

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Maybe the bear would help excite her?

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Meh; a little better, but even blowing raspberries would’ve been better than this poker face. But then she opened up and seemed interested in her soft, friendly bear.

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At least, we thought she was just interested, but apparently she had some aggression issues with her stuffed bear. What ensued for the remainder of the photo session was basically a bear mauling. Maybe Avery was giving a tutorial on how to fight a stuffed bear should the need arise. I mean, hey, you never know!

As you can see from the picture above, you must first act like you just want to pet the unsuspecting bear. Then, when you have good leverage, slam his face down in your knee and smile while doing so.

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Then grab your bear prey from behind while he’s stunned….

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….and throw him in a corner while staying as close as you can to prevent him from taking any swipes. Maybe bite his face a little.

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From there, drive your shoulder into his neck region to let him know you’ve only just begun to show him who’s boss!

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Don’t stop, keep really driving your body into his and don’t let up by any means! This is a bear, after all, and they can’t be trusted.

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Having shown his jugular a thing or two, push him down from behind and bite his head! Trust me, you’ll “bear-ly” taste a thing.

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At this point, you’re probably a little tired, so give yourself a break by just laying right on top of the big lug.

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Keep laying there if you need to; bear fights are exhausting.

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Once you’ve established yourself as master of all bears, prop the poor sap back up in a corner and go let everyone know your big feat!

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Oh yeah, oops, learn how to crawl or walk before trying to get off the chair though. Thanks, mom, for catching me!

Have mommy or daddy help you down from the chair instead of trying to crawl right off of it and get to the nearest phone to tell everyone you know. Just so happens, Avery had her chance to use the phone when we changed her into swim clothes to go outside and try her new giant turtle pool.

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After you’ve made the calls…..eat the phone.

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And that sums up our 7 month photo session and tutorial on how to fight a bear. Here’s Avery at her 1 month session; she’s a little more lively now!

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Wow, I will never get over seeing how much she’s already grown!

Do you have a certain prop you use to help mark your child’s growth each month/year? Or did you?