Category Archives: Life

Less Than a Year to Live: What Would You Do?

It’s a question no one wants to face, let alone answer, but the harsh reality is that many of us do every day. Oren Miller, the founder of a lively Facebook group for dad bloggers, is now faced with answering such a question.

Oren Miller

Almost a month ago, Oren went to the hospital when he had severe back pain from what he thought was a muscle spasm. It turned out to be much worse; stage 4 lung cancer that has now spread to his lymph nodes, kidneys, liver, and brain. He wrote about his diagnosis on his blog, A Blogger and a Father, in a post he titled “Cancer”. After reading his touching story, I could hardly swallow from the giant lump in my throat.

I never met Oren, but since becoming part of the Dad Bloggers Facebook group that he founded, I am forever grateful for everything he’s done. There are over 800 members of the group today, and I share thoughts, stories, and rants on a daily basis with all of them. These guys have helped me as a father, husband, and with my small blog by sharing lessons they’ve learned along the way, and I am a better person and blogger/writer as a result.

I haven’t met any of them in person, but I consider these dads my friends as all have something in common and always help each other out. I’ve even connected with a few local dads who I will be meeting soon. All of this, because of one man who is also a loving husband and father to two children.

As I stood looking down at Avery playing with a “new” activity board I just made for her, Oren’s situation was weighing on my mind. What if I were told I had less than a year on this planet?

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That giant lump returned as I looked at my precious little girl smiling at the board I made her as I thought the unthinkable. I don’t cry very often, but I felt that the slightest thing could’ve opened my floodgates right then.

Never, ever, would I want anyone to face a situation like this. Being a relative “newb” to the Facebook group, I was moved at how fast all of the dad bloggers were to respond upon hearing Oren’s news. Automatically, my respect for this guy grew like Jack’s beanstalk.

Within days, a fundraising page was created with the goal to raise enough money to send Oren and his family on lovely vacation. The original goal of $5,000 was quickly met and is now nearing $30,000!This truly will be the vacation of a lifetime.

The donations have been overwhelming, and I’m happy to have contributed what little I could, but now I’m asking YOU for help. With cancer treatments and medical expenses quickly adding up, it is evident that additional funds will be needed to help cover these as well. Not to mention help Beth, Oren’s wife, provide for their children.

Seeing how many people have already flooded Oren and his family with support and donations, it’s easy for us to fall into the “Bystander Effect“. This occurs when others do not offer help to someone in need if there are others (bystanders) already around.

We see others around and think “What else can I do besides offer kind words?” Well, each and every one of us can help by making a donation we are comfortable with, be it 5 or 5,000 dollars, and know that together we make something huge!

Please help by going to Oren’s Fundraising Page and giving whatever you can.

I am a firm believer in the power of mind, and would like to think I could remain optimistic like Oren should the news ever befall me. If you believe you will fail at something, you inevitably will fail, but if you tell yourself you WILL succeed, then you can overcome any obstacle.

The more donations and words of encouragement given on his page, the more power we give to Oren and his family to remain optimistic and fight this obstical!

Oren with is wife and two children.
Oren with is wife and two children.

The Morning Phases of Our Baby: Wake Up, Smile, Fart, Crawl, Cry, Happy

As all parents know, babies are not predictable as they are constantly changing physically and mentally. But, there’s usually some sort of routine you have established which helps ease the mind at least a little.

Right now, at 7 months, we are usually greeted with a smile upon entering Avery’s room first thing in the morning. Even if she is already awake and crying, she’ll stop and flash her pearly whites rosy gums at us. The smiles may quickly turn to screams and cries as we try to feed her or set her down after changing her diaper, but those smiles are priceless.

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Yesterday morning I captured what a typical morning for Avery and me is like during the workweek, when Going Mom is at work.

Starting with smiles upon seeing one of her parents, I then try to feed her a bottle, which 9 times out of 10 proves unsuccessful. Then I’ll change her into a new cloth diaper, set her down on a blanket to put the dirty diaper away and wash my hands, listen to her cry as I leave the room, and then stop and act like all is well once I re-enter.

She’s become very clingy and will let the whole neighborhood know she’s not getting enough attention; it’s fun! After she’s changed, we will play on the floor for a while to release some energy and work on crawling. Eventually, I’ll bring her to the kitchen and set her in her jumper while I clean whatever dishes are in the sink. I am OCD about dishes in the sink and feel that I must clean them immediately!

Once that’s done, we go into the garage and I’ll workout while she’s next to me in her jumper. Not sure why, but for whatever reason, Avery is usually happier in her jumper when it’s in the garage as opposed to in the kitchen area. It’s great since trying to focus on lifting heavy is difficult when you have a screaming baby to contend with, but I wish she’d be good inside too! After working out, we’ll go back inside where I clean myself and try to stop sweating so much before feeding Avery.

She’s better about taking the bottle at this point, and sometimes even falls asleep while eating. If she does, we’ll go to the nursery to change her and lay her down to sleep. If she’s still awake, we’ll either play a little more or she will watch me make something in the kitchen. Not much longer and she’ll be yawning, rubbing her face, and most likely getting fussy; all signs it’s time for a nap!

I don’t eat my first meal of the day until after she’s asleep, which is typically around 1 or 2 pm after factoring in the time it takes to cook my meal. It works thus far, and I usually have 1.5 – 2.5 hours before she wakes. But this post is about the morning, so I’ll stop there.

To help you better visualize Avery’s morning phases, I will share the video with you here:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Cc65AAukQw&w=560&h=315]

Our daughter’s morning phases at 7 months. She’s learning to crawl and even lets out a nice fart. She’s going to resent me in a few years…

Does your baby have any particular morning “phases”?

Have you established a daily routine with your kid(s) or at least tried?

Weekend Recap and My First Donut in Years

Right now, if you know me or have been reading my blog, you might be thinking “What?! Going Dad had a donut after talking so much about eating healthy?!”

Well, it’s not that kind of donut, so you can breathe again; or go on not caring in the first place. 🙂

After an already seemingly long day out with Avery on Saturday, I walked out of the Tom Thumb to find my precious Subaru with a flat tire. Good thing I didn’t have any frozen veggies or anything perishable. Oh wait, I DID! At least Avery thought it was funny….

Flat Tire_Avery Smiling

Luckily, I’ve put in my time working on several types of cars and had the spare (a.k.a. donut) on in no time.

Donut on Subie

So yeah, I’m not a hypocrite because I didn’t have one of those sugary fried dough confections. Of course they taste good, but I simply don’t derive satisfaction from something that’s non-nutritive and even harmful to my body.

Backtracking to Saturday morning, Going Mom and I were treated to a longer than usual sleeping baby which gave us an extra hour’s sleep! Mornings like these have become scarce, but they’re always well received.

When she finally woke, we went about our normal Saturday routine; Kelley fed and changed Avery as I made a batch of chocolate banana protein pancakes. Kelley brewed our black gold in the French Press which we both readily consumed…..maybe too fast. After a couple hours, it was time to grab the Fiskars Reel Mower and kick some grass.

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After kicking the grass, I then mowed it. Since Kelley was home and kept Avery, I didn’t wear her in the Onya, so I wore my 20lb vest instead. Just preparing for when Avery hits the 20lb mark; I’ll be ready!

Several areas in the house have been bothering Kelley, and I told her I’d take Avery out for some errands while she cleaned to her liking. I try to keep a clean house so she doesn’t have to worry about these things on the weekend, but in reality, I suck at most cleaning. Literally, I vacuum a lot.

I’ve been wanting to make an activity board for Avery for a while, so I went to Home Depot to find a few items that would be great for her to play with. I wasn’t exactly sure what all I would find, but door stops were an obvious choice. Every time we set her down in her nursery, Avery will head right toward the door stop and pull it and release.

Door stops should be located in the toy aisle.
I wonder what would happen if I put my face next to it when I let go….

One of our neighbors had given me some extra MDF to use for the board, and bought another piece from the scrap wood from Home Depot. Have you ever checked out the scrap section at a hardware store? You can get some great deals on quality wood!

After we left Home Depot, we went to Tom Thumb where I came back out to the flat tire. The culprit was a shiny screw from all of the new construction around our neighborhood….yay. I’m going to Costco today, so hopefully they can patch it to be good as new….or close to it!

Going Mom was still “going” with the cleaning when we arrived home, but she had a lot done and we just needed to finish a few things. We did our best to keep Avery entertained the rest of the night, which is getting more challenging than usual.

I'm sorry, did you say something?
I’m sorry, did you say something?

After an already long day, we pushed our luck and tried to see if Avery would improve her new crawling skills before bedtime. Nope, she was tired, fussy, hungry, and wanted nothing to do with us. So off to bed she went and with how tired she had to of been, we were sure we’d have another day of sleeping in.

Silly parents, when will we learn? Avery was up talking to herself and moving all over her crib nice and early. We laid in bed, listening to her noises until they turned into cries, at which point I brought her to Kelley to eat.

It was a perfect lazy Sunday morning with cloud covered skies and rain falling steadily. I cooked pumpkin teff and my wife, knowing the key to my heart, brewed coffee in the French Press. We sat outside to enjoy the coffee and watch the rain with Avery. She kept pretty active as Kelley held her squirmy body, but eventually she gave in to her tiredness and was out fast!

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Kelley was able to carry her inside and put her in the crib without waking her, so we did what any couple would do with a sleeping baby; Kelley cleaned and I went for a run in the rain.

6.5 miles plus 31 burpees, pushups, and squats later, I returned, drenched from non-stop rain, to find Avery awake and with Kelley in the kitchen. The nap was short-lived, but both girls seemed to be in a good mood. Phew!

Besides going on a long walk together after the rain cleared, we hung around the house the rest of the day and finished a few chores while having classic Donald Duck cartoons playing on YouTube through our TV. Donald Duck quarreling with Chip and Dale are the cartoons I remember growing up on, and hope to get Avery into watching them more often with us. So far, we’re off to a bad start as she doesn’t understand she needs to face the TV to watch it…

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But I’m not too concerned since we don’t want her having a lot of screen time anyway! Once again, we pushed our limits with our daughter and tried capturing her crawling in action. This time was better than Saturday night, and I went a little video crazy on Instagram. But hey, our little girl is getting the hang of this crawling thing!!

She wasn’t fussy, but it was late, so we called it a night and Kelley laid her down to sleep after feeding her. Now it’s back to Monday and Avery and I are already missing Mommy; hopefully she’ll be home on time!

Even as a stay-at-home parent, I still feel the dreadful effects of a weekend coming to an end just because I’ll be without my wife/partner in crime the next day. But we can’t sit and sulk, instead I’ll celebrate the fact that we had a pleasant weekend together and look forward to another great weekend ahead!

Are you an at-home parent who is still affected by a typical workweek?

Ever have to change a tire, or something worse, in the middle of a parking lot…..with kids?