Nurse: *Pointing to a little spec on the screen of Kelley’s sonogram* See that there? You’re going to have a boy.
Kelley and Me: *gasp* *enormous grins follow*
Kelley: This early and you can tell, how certain are you?
Nurse: I’ve been doing this for a while and I’m pretty sure that’s a boy.
This was part of the conversation during Kelley’s scheduled sonogram at 13 weeks pregnant. I had always imagined us having a boy, and now it was just “confirmed”.
I wasted no time filling our Amazon baby registry with various boy items from mini kettlebells for kids (yep, there’s such thing) to a multitude of blue themed onesies our boy just had to have. Little Richard Charles Liley III (I’m the Jr/II), was on his way! But then, Kelley had her 18 week sono…
Nurse: …and right here we can see you’re having a girl.
Kelley and Me: *gasp* *no grins, just a look of pure, utter confusion across our faces* “But you told us you were sure we were having a boy!”
Nurse: *calmly* Oh, really? Well, nope, it’s definitely a girl.
Still excited for the fact that we were even having a baby, we walked out of the room with puzzled looks on our faces. Everything we had planned up to this point felt as if it were lost in a deep, meaningless abyss. Before the news, I was pushing to name our future boy after me, but Kelley was reluctant to give in without further discussion first. Clearly, my name was out of the question now that our boy “bump” was actually a girl, and we needed to rewire our thoughts to choose a name!
The name ended up being the easiest decision we made as parents. While walking down the hall of the doctor’s office that day, I was reading baby names hung on the wall from parents that sent the staff pictures of their newborns. Near the end, right before checking out, I read “Avery” out loud and the choice was made; we loved it! Too bad making the changes to our Amazon registry wasn’t as easy.
Since I couldn’t keep my mouth shut after the 13 week “boy sono”, (in Ricky Ricardo voice) I had some splainin to do. Damn you, social media, for making it so easy to spread the word!! Following my announcement that Kelley was actually pregnant with a girl, not a boy, I received many of the “Oh man, you’re in trouble!” and “Just wait until this or that happens.” comments just as Jeff Bogle from OWTK.com recently wrote about on his blog.
I would nod in agreement thinking of how much harder a girl will be since they seemed far more terrifying than raising boys. But, as Jeff explains in his post….
“Yeah, it gets challenging. No shit, Sherlock. Parenting isn’t always Pinterest-perfect cupcakes and Instagram-worthy rainbows, but why would you want it that way anyway?”
He then explains the various reasons people give on why being a father to a daughter is so scary along with his rebuttal on why it actually gets better. According to Jeff, the only thing worth fearing as a dad to a daughter is not being there for her to console, mentor, laugh, cry, and just be a dad as she experiences all that life has to offer. I completely agree with Jeff, and although I feel more confident about being an awesome father to Avery, I still get that worried, “must protect from everything” feeling for so many aspects of her future.
Why is it that so many feel it’s more terrifying for a father to raise a little girl instead of a boy? If I had a boy, I know I’d be less wary of what’s to come and would feel less terrified about the day he goes off on his own. But for Avery, so many things speed through my mind about what could happen as she ventures off into the scary world.
Tony, from DisillusionedDad.com, also read Jeff’s post and then wrote about his own feelings as a father to a daughter and a son. Similar to what I just described, Tony has many fears for his daughter that he does not share for his son. He loves them both to the moon and back, but, just as I feel about Avery, is reluctant to loosen the reigns for his little princess. At the end of his post, Tony mentions how he hopes he is not alone in this feeling of fear for his daughter, and I’m here to say he’s not alone at all.
I think part of the reason, a big part, is that as a guy, we know how guys think. Sure, love and romance is a part of life, that’s how I am married to a beautiful woman/mom, but it’s hard to accept this for our daughter. Do mothers with boys have similar feelings since they know how women view men? I can’t answer that, but if you are a mother with one or more sons, please leave a comment with your thoughts.
I can’t imagine what it’d be like with a son instead of my beautiful daughter, Avery, as my love for her is everlasting and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Similar to Tony’s assessment, I need to fight my natural tendencies to always try and protect Avery from everything, and learn to simply be there for her, as a father, sharing all of life’s experiences.
Going Mom took the Monday after our 7th wedding anniversary weekend off to spend more time with Avery and me and to adjust back to life as a parent. Just one full day without a baby to watch and we get spoiled!
Don’t get me wrong, we missed our sweet girl tremendously, but any parent can relate to the “freedom” I’m sure. Similar to our inability to decide on things to do while downtown together, we were at a loss back home too. Kelley had to get on to me for spending too much time over the sink and in the kitchen in general and not with my two girls.
I’m glad she called me out, I need to be knocked in the head sometimes. Figuratively, please! So, I left my soapy dishes in the sink and joined my wife and Avery in the baby jail a.ka. play pen. She acts like it’s jail sometimes, and even attempts to escape frequently!
Avery crawled around and played with her toys scattered across the floor as Kelley and I acted as human obstacle courses. Avery grew tired of this after about an hour as we tried to keep her entertained. If there were a game called “Indecision”, we’d win, hands down.
Finally, we decided getting outside for fresh air and movement was the best bet, and walked over to the neighborhood playground not far from our house. I’ve been wanting to let Avery go down a slide since she gets excited when we toss her in the air or play airplane with her. This girl is going to love roller-coasters, I just know it!
The trip to the playground was short, but our goal was achieved; Avery had her first ride down the slide! Kelley and I each took a turn going down with her and she only seemed slightly amused. She did give us some cute smiles though, so it’s a win to us!
Monday was coming to an end and we went back home to get our dog, Abby, to go for a longer walk. I know soon Avery will be more excited for the playground when she is running around on her own, so I’m trying to enjoy this stage while it lasts. But, I’m impatient and want to play!
Here are some of my favorite photos from our sliding experience; enjoy!
At what age do you think she’ll be ready to go down by herself?
The title alone is enough to make any romantic envious, huh? While it wasn’t a “Lady and the Tramp” spaghetti noodle moment, we still enjoyed a wonderful weekend making the most of our time together!
I forgot to mention, I’m gluten-free.
G-Ma stayed at our house and watched Avery so Going Mom and I could venture a whole 20 miles away to stay at the Embassy Suites Downtown Fort Worth location. I’ll speak more on the hotel in an upcoming post for my review.
We left Friday afternoon not long after G-Ma arrived to our house. We quickly explained the to-do’s and not to-do’s with Avery and took off to start our time away. Maybe I was a little too anxious to go, but I wanted to get the most out of the room we paid for. Yes, I’ll get it out of the way now, I’m pretty tight when it comes to spending on dining out and hospitality services.
Upon arrival, I parked nearby at temporary space so we could unload our bags and check-in and then go back to use the free weekend parking garage. Yes, there was valet, no I did not use it. See paragraph above.
Leading up to our anniversary weekend, I exchanged several e-mails with Michelle, the sales coordinator at Embassy Suites Downtown Fort Worth and she kindly had complimentary champagne and fresh fruit waiting for us in our room. The room, by the way, was on the 7th floor; and it was our 7th anniversary…..eh? Well, I thought it was cool.
Embassy offers a nightly Manager’s Reception for guests with free snacks and a nice selection of beer, wine, and liquor. We arrived just in time and enjoyed the fresh veggies along with a beer for Kelley and a generous glass of scotch for myself.
Mmmmm, scotch and veggies go great together do not pair well at all! But I liked it because it was free and free is what I like! Jealous you don’t have someone as romantic as me in your life? Or maybe you do….
After relishing our complimentary happy hour refreshments, we washed up and headed out to, well, go drink somewhere else. I’ve mentioned the Flying Saucer several times before, and that’s where we went to sit outside. If I’m going to go out, I most likely will not eat, so want to make sure there’s a nice selection of quality beer to choose from and Flying Saucer has plenty.
The open patio seating was filled with energetic patrons, as was all of their tables. We finally found a spot and ended up sharing (not by choice) with a group of guys talking about computer programming jargon I’m clueless on. Regardless, we were alone (kinda) together and enjoyed a nice local brew from Martin House brewery which we visited for my birthday back in June.
Our pleasant evening kept getting interrupted from idiot smokers spreading their infectious smoke on us, so after we finished our beers, we left to walk around downtown a little. Fort Worth has a nice splash pad area that is beautiful when lit up at night, so we watched as the fountains put on a show.
One of my “being cheap” qualities is getting as many free refills from Starbucks as possible. I have the gold card membership, so after purchasing my first drink, refills are free the rest of the day. Only black coffee, that is, but that’s all I drink. We stopped at Starbucks earlier that day before leaving G-Ma and Avery, and then again for free refills on the way to the hotel. Well, I was eager to get another round of free before the night was over, and luckily a Starbucks was close by.
I talked the poor guy overwhelmed with late-night consumers wanting their sugar-laden, whipped cream calorie bombs into giving me two black iced coffees and then we were on our way back to the hotel for the night. We both had intense weightlifting sessions at home and the effects were setting in hard, so rest was the best option.
The next day, Saturday, I woke up before Kelley and went to the complimentary breakfast Embassy offers their guests. I returned with two egg white omelettes and coffee before Kelley woke and she was pleased with my free finds!
Yes, there were seconds. C’mon, free cooked-to-order food is hard to come by! Usually I’m not interested in free food offerings as “free” means processed crap, but not today. Of course, there was plenty of processed crap too.
After breakfast, I had an extremely romantic idea of going to the nearby trails that run along the Trinity River to throw a tennis ball together. I know how to woo my “woo”-man, huh? In my defense, playing catch in the grass with our bare feet really did sound like a fun way to bond and be active without spending a dime.
Our plans were altered when the open entrance we used to go to was occupied by a kayaking rental trailer with a full setup of kayaks and paddle boards. I love kayaking and hardly get the chance to go, so “tossing” our tennis ball plans aside, we opted for kayaking.
There were no tandem kayaks available, but Kelley said she’d be good with her own kayak so we rented 2 single-person vessels for the hour. And at $10/hr, I can deal with that!
We chose a route and kayaked together under a hot Texas sun. I found myself getting ahead several times and would just make a circle to let Kelley catch up. Sorry, dear, I get over-excited when it comes to kayaking and other things and just want to keep going! But, we still enjoyed ourselves and made time for a kayaking selfie.
The way back offered zero breeze and I felt the sweat dripping off of my eyebrows and elbows as if they were leaky faucets. No matter, we completed our hour of kayaking and were happy to have experienced it together.
Afterward, I did my daily routine of 31, burpees, push-ups, and squats near the shore just to be done with them. We still attempted to throw the tennis ball, but after only 10 minutes we decided we were hungry and our arms just weren’t feeling it. We walked back to the hotel to refuel on the food I brought from home and clean ourselves from the sand and sweat.
With our impromptu kayaking adventure, we never had sunscreen on, and as a result, this happened…
She’s still feeling it today, but it’s improving! I had a little redness on my neck, but couldn’t feel a burn. Guess all of that walking outside with Avery made my skin resistant…..or it’s because I had a shirt on.
Food in our bellies, and our bodies clean, we were ready for another night together.
But first we had champagne to open…
I was allowed one sip, Kelley had the rest.
It was a good sip! No worries, I had a Manager’s Reception offering free bourbon (see the shirt?), so I was all set.
After a bit of drinking, we went out to soak in the downtown atmosphere as parents temporarily freed from their cage. We weren’t sure what to do with our freedom since we hardly go out, so a lot of the time we just stood around talking. Oh, and taking selfies.
Finally, we decided to try out Bird Cafe which is the original location of Flying Saucer. Just FYI if you cared. We were immediately seated on the patio with a view of the splash pad and spent time talking and people watching. Never gets old.
Like I mentioned before, I usually don’t get food when we go to restaurants, and this time was no different. I was almost sold on the Zucchini Ribbons they offered, but decided otherwise before the waitress could finished saying “deep fried” when I asked if they were cooked. Oh well.
Kelley ordered a Farmer’s Market salad with cheese, crouons, and dressing on the side and a side of sauteed asparagus. I had several bites of both platters and although very tasty, not worth what I could prepare at home. Again, sorry, dear, I know I need to lighten up, it’s just hard to place that much value on simple things I make at home for a fraction of the price.
Either way, it was time well spent together and Kelley even caught me smiling. And for some reason offering my phone to her.
Seeing a movie was the plan that day, but it never happened since nothing seemed interesting enough. Even the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie that I was sure I’d see in theaters, has been getting bad reviews and figured it was best not to watch that for our anniversary. Instead, we did the next best thing; go back to our room.
Hey now, keep a clean mind here! After strolling around the center of Sundance Square (the main downtown area), we went back to our room, unwound with drinks, and watched documentaries on Netflix. This might sound odd to some, but we haven’t had our TV on at home in weeks, so just sitting together to watch anything was nice.
We watched a documentary called Forks Over Knives which dives deep into the world of holistic nutrition and using food as medicine. It was a great film and mostly ties with our current views on nutrition with a few caveats. We still eat meat, just in limited amounts and raised humanely. Anyway, back to our weekend…..
Well, that was mostly the extent since we fell asleep shortly thereafter. The next day, our actual anniversary date of August 17th, marked the end of our hotel stay. I can’t believe it’s already been 7 years since my stunning wife and I exchanged vows at the Bellagio in Las Vegas! I never thought it was possible, but I keep falling more and more in love with her as time passes.
I ventured out and brought back omelettes just like the previous morning along with fresh fruit. And then, just as before, we went back for seconds. Afterward, Kelley agreed to walk down the hotel stairs from the 7th floor to the first floor and back up to the very top, the 14th floor. No good reason other than I thought it would be cool and something active to do.
It really was not cool, but yes, it was active. We checked out and walked back to our non-valeted car in the free parking garage only to be welcomed by a completely flat front passenger side tire. Wow, this anniversary had us walking all the way on the red carpet!
We even had a note on the windshield that read “You have a flat tire. Love – Fort Worth”. That was kind of Fort Worth to let us know, but I wish it would’ve changed the tire too! The kit that comes with our car is less than stellar and hardly ideal, but it worked.
Once off, it was easy to spot the culprit, a large nail right in the center. We have plenty of construction in our neighborhood and several neighbors have had the same problem, even I did with my Subaru not long ago. Before making it back to Avery and G-Ma, we made a stop at Costco to have our flat repaired for free since we are members, and then it was back on the road.
G-Ma and Avery had a great weekend together and my mom was sending picture texts to let us know they were doing fine. I’m extremely grateful to my awesome mother for staying and watching Avery and doing a great job as well! Thank you, Mom/G-Ma!
It may not have been a lavish vacation, but we are simple and enjoyed being alone in each other’s company. Kelley, I love you so much and can never tell you enough, so I’ll just keep on saying it. Our time together was wonderful as always and I look forward to what the future has in store for our little family!
What’s the most simple celebration you’ve had with your significant other?
What’s the most lavish?
An at-home dad on a mission to keep it real when it comes to food, fun, and raising a healthy, happy family.
